The truth isnt always easy

Friday night as we were having our family PJ night (pizza, Pjs and a movie). We noticed that Luke has a few facial hairs (Dear Lord help me as I dont know if I am ready for that.. but here it comes).  So I showed Luke that he is changing by showing him his facial hair. Of which he says, yup my real father had a lot of facial hair. WELL since Luke was abandoned at 8 months old there was NO way he would know that. Tom and I asked him how he knew that.. he said DUH I saw it.. We didn't quite know what to say at first. My gut reaction was "leave it alone and it will all go away.." Not a great first reaction. But Luke said, "yea my Father in China had a lot of facial hair". I asked what age did you see your father with facial hair, his answer was at 8 years old before they sent me to live with the ladies with the pink hats(the nannies at the orphanage). Well Tom and I were dumbfounded. Here Luke thought the foster family he lived with was his real family and that he was abandoned at 8 years old by them....... Oh my.

So I decided there and then to take the high road and tell Luke the truth. He has a year of language under his belt and has been here with us for a year. So Tom and I proceeded to tell him that he was found (notice I did not say abandoned) at 8 months old. He called me a liar and got very upset with me. He said, "fine then where are the pictures of me at the orphanage as a baby". To that he is right and it is mind blowing but there are none. I think he wasn't paper ready until about 6 or 7 years old to be adopted, at least that is my guess.  So I got out his paperwork and interpreted his medical file about when he was found at 8 months old and what he weighed and how he did. Then I interpreted his next evaluation at 10 months old and then again one at 7 (nothing between 10 months old and 7 years old). He seemed devastated but then wanted to know what else the paper said. He loved hearing about his development, about his learning to do different things, his height and weight and how many teeth he had. Over all Luke was crushed beyond crushed but handled it with such dignity and grace that I knew I had to suck it up and not cry all over him like I felt like doing.  It was NOT easy. Luke took a few moments to stare at his medicals and then pushed them all aside got up and said I am going to go play.. He walked away then came right back and said "Mom was Elias found when he was a baby too?" I said "Yes at 8 months old just like you" He said "oh Poor Elias that makes me so sad for him, I am going to have to show him a lot of love". Then he hugged me and said he loved me and went off and played. I am sure this conversation is far from over, that someday Luke will want to know more and wonder more, but for now he is happy that we chose to tell him the truth and he did thank me for not lying to him. He told me the ladies in pink told him that the people that dropped him off at 8 years old were his mom and dad. I told him they and YOU didn't know sign language and you had no language, so how could they possibly explain what a foster family was... he just nodded and said "true".

This boy has wisdom beyond his years. His heart has so much love in it that it is a wonder it doesn't burst sometimes. God has special plans for Luke, of this I am sure. Lord I Thank you for the privilege of being Luke's momma. for giving me the courage to tell him the truth in a time when I wanted to run and hide for the hills. For giving me the words to tell Luke in a way that would show love and care. For giving Luke the heart and mind and sign language to be able to understand. Lord protect my boy as the questions keep coming!

LUKE You first came to us in an envelope With letters, forms and such Just two tiny little pictures With nothing warm to touch. You grew in our imagination In our hearts and in our minds. You brought us greater joy Than we ever thought we'd find. A phone call started labor pains Which lasted 'til we met Strangers brought together A day we won't forget. You bloomed as you were planned In our hearts, our lives, our home. Our child of chance, of plan, of will You're now our very own Author Unknown

Sorry I feel the need to brag a little bit!

And here he is.... the smartest boy in the world!!! Well in his momma's eyes anyway! I just needed to brag a bit... NO it is not the nicest quality in the world to want to brag but lets just say I am having a VERY PROUD momma moment!

We just got back from Luke's Parent teacher conference at DSD where Luke goes to school since September of this year. Luke is doing AHHHH-mmmaazzing!  He has surpassed all the goals set for him in Math this year and they have developed new goals. Luke is starting 3-4th grade math work now. WHOA this boy didnt know his numbers last year.. say what??? Goodness he is one smart boy!

He is doing AHHHH-mmmaazing in ASL/ELA and we were told he is going to be challenged more in there as he is improving at a great rate. This we know as his ASL is just skyrocketing and he is reading on a first grade level YAHOOO!!! WOW isn't this what every mom wants to hear. We have known Luke was smart since the moment we met him.. BUT everyone has said that Luke was going to be forever behind as he severely MISSED the window of language learning opportunity which is said to close by 5. Well Luke missed that "window" by 6+ years as he didnt start learning until he was 10 and a half and then truly learning learning this year at school at age 11. When I think about all he has accomplished it is mind blowing. Sometimes I need to step back and look at his video from 1 year ago and see where he has come. The everyday race to catch up sometimes makes me forget how far he has come. This boy is one impressive little man.

We had a truly rough week last week (not going to lie there are rough times in older child adoption and sometimes I wonder if we will make it.. Thankfully for Luke they tend to be pretty short lived and then we march on with an amazing attitude!) Luke was so worried what his teachers were going to say at the meeting and I laugh at his worry (not nice and No I dont laugh to his face) but I KNOW how hard this child works, he is a down right work-a-holic! Self motivation to succeed that is immeasurable and surely helping us out a ton! Luke is a joy to work with (most of the time for me hahah) (he is human and there are times when mom loses her patience with him) but he in general has a fabulous work ethic!

We are so proud of Luke and all he has accomplished. He is just one impressive lad! Love him with my whole heart and soul. (which is something he has struggled with this last week) He knows mom is very upset with him and frustrated  with his behavior last week, so in his mind that means mom wants to send him back to China. I truly truly pray that one day that fear will be gone. I cant even imagine how that fear must grip someone and drag them down into deep dark scary places. I told Luke that even though momma was upset and disappointed in his behavior last week that I love him so much and would NEVER send him back to China. He was very pleased with that statement. Behavior is rapidly improving the last few days!

So just wanted share with all of you that read this that Luke is becoming a STAR pupil at DSD and he LOVES more then anything his school. Sometimes you wonder about the decisions you make in life and you wonder if you did the right thing.. Sending Luke to DSD was and is 100% the best decision we could have ever made for his life! He is growing in leaps and bounds, developing confidence in himself as a young deaf boy and has developed pride in his Deafness. Luke is going to be a well accomplished Deaf adult of that I have no doubt!

Proud of you Luke Xinhai Worrell!!!!!!

                                              Luke with his brothers and sister!

                                Luke we are so proud of you! Love you so much! God has big BIG plans for you my man! Stand strong and believe!   for YOU can do all things through Christ who strengthens you!

Another Holiday Down!

Another Holiday down!

Luke LOVES counting down the Holidays! Luke was here for Valentines day last year and does remember it, which is pretty impressive to me since he was only here 2 weeks. Now that Valentines day is over he is already talking about Easter! Ha the boy is too funny!

A lot has been happening since my last post. I myself am struggling with a bad case of vertigo but life must go on...

Luke is doing so amazing at school that it is beyond our comprehension. I kept saying for what felt like forever that he wasn't progressing and then I started to look back at the work we were doing (preschool work as he had to start somewhere) and now I look at what he is doing almost all 2nd grade level work and some 3rd. Science and Social studies he is on level with his 5th grade classmates. He has 90 minutes of ASL/ELA every morning with the most amazing ASL teacher ever. She is just amazing and he is learning so much and everyday he comes home and Tom and I just cant believe how much new stuff he learned!

We have a parent teacher conference with both his ASL/ELA teacher and his 5th grade teacher this Friday and we cant wait to hear what they have to say although we pretty much know he is doing awesome!

I love seeing Luke learn to use a ton of classifiers and use them correctly. He is pretty amazing that way. He was making fun of me the other day after I called him nosey boy.. (he is a nosey boy but much to be expected after almost 11 years of knowing nothing!) and he made me and Tom laugh so hard when he took my letters to my name and spelled them out in a dramatic drown out way using the sign nosey it was actually very very Deaf poetry! How does a child that had no language one year ago have Deaf poetry in him? WOW he is amazing that way!

I am working on a new video with Luke signing as the ones on this blog are old and he in no way signs like that anymore. He actually laughs at them when he sees them and cant beleive he signed "like that". We think they are awesome but that just shows you how much he is changing and learning!

Well off to prepare for the next day and the next Big Holiday hahah.

Will post the new video sometime with in the next week!

                            Nanny with Tommy and Luke at our Valentines Day Dinner

             Poppy with Tommy and Luke at our Valentines Day Dinner!