The truth isnt always easy

Friday night as we were having our family PJ night (pizza, Pjs and a movie). We noticed that Luke has a few facial hairs (Dear Lord help me as I dont know if I am ready for that.. but here it comes).  So I showed Luke that he is changing by showing him his facial hair. Of which he says, yup my real father had a lot of facial hair. WELL since Luke was abandoned at 8 months old there was NO way he would know that. Tom and I asked him how he knew that.. he said DUH I saw it.. We didn't quite know what to say at first. My gut reaction was "leave it alone and it will all go away.." Not a great first reaction. But Luke said, "yea my Father in China had a lot of facial hair". I asked what age did you see your father with facial hair, his answer was at 8 years old before they sent me to live with the ladies with the pink hats(the nannies at the orphanage). Well Tom and I were dumbfounded. Here Luke thought the foster family he lived with was his real family and that he was abandoned at 8 years old by them....... Oh my.

So I decided there and then to take the high road and tell Luke the truth. He has a year of language under his belt and has been here with us for a year. So Tom and I proceeded to tell him that he was found (notice I did not say abandoned) at 8 months old. He called me a liar and got very upset with me. He said, "fine then where are the pictures of me at the orphanage as a baby". To that he is right and it is mind blowing but there are none. I think he wasn't paper ready until about 6 or 7 years old to be adopted, at least that is my guess.  So I got out his paperwork and interpreted his medical file about when he was found at 8 months old and what he weighed and how he did. Then I interpreted his next evaluation at 10 months old and then again one at 7 (nothing between 10 months old and 7 years old). He seemed devastated but then wanted to know what else the paper said. He loved hearing about his development, about his learning to do different things, his height and weight and how many teeth he had. Over all Luke was crushed beyond crushed but handled it with such dignity and grace that I knew I had to suck it up and not cry all over him like I felt like doing.  It was NOT easy. Luke took a few moments to stare at his medicals and then pushed them all aside got up and said I am going to go play.. He walked away then came right back and said "Mom was Elias found when he was a baby too?" I said "Yes at 8 months old just like you" He said "oh Poor Elias that makes me so sad for him, I am going to have to show him a lot of love". Then he hugged me and said he loved me and went off and played. I am sure this conversation is far from over, that someday Luke will want to know more and wonder more, but for now he is happy that we chose to tell him the truth and he did thank me for not lying to him. He told me the ladies in pink told him that the people that dropped him off at 8 years old were his mom and dad. I told him they and YOU didn't know sign language and you had no language, so how could they possibly explain what a foster family was... he just nodded and said "true".

This boy has wisdom beyond his years. His heart has so much love in it that it is a wonder it doesn't burst sometimes. God has special plans for Luke, of this I am sure. Lord I Thank you for the privilege of being Luke's momma. for giving me the courage to tell him the truth in a time when I wanted to run and hide for the hills. For giving me the words to tell Luke in a way that would show love and care. For giving Luke the heart and mind and sign language to be able to understand. Lord protect my boy as the questions keep coming!

LUKE You first came to us in an envelope With letters, forms and such Just two tiny little pictures With nothing warm to touch. You grew in our imagination In our hearts and in our minds. You brought us greater joy Than we ever thought we'd find. A phone call started labor pains Which lasted 'til we met Strangers brought together A day we won't forget. You bloomed as you were planned In our hearts, our lives, our home. Our child of chance, of plan, of will You're now our very own Author Unknown