About Me

My name is Tracy and I am married to an amazing man, his name is Thomas! We are a busy family that is always on the go between church, school, work and sports.... we are not a sitting around kind of family. We have 4 amazing children and are working on bringing home Elias to make 5. My hubby is Deaf and I am a sign language interpreter,we are very involved in the Deaf community and are excited to be adding another Deaf member to our family. Our kids, Aaron-19, Luke-11, Tommy-10 and Paige-5 are anxious for their new brother to be home. This is our second adoption and we are learning more everyday to lean on God, this journey is already strengthening our faith! We are working on learning how to turn everything over to God and know that He has a perfect plan and all will happen in His time! Good things come to those who wait.

Monday, February 27, 2012

The truth isnt always easy

Friday night as we were having our family PJ night (pizza, Pjs and a movie). We noticed that Luke has a few facial hairs (Dear Lord help me as I dont know if I am ready for that.. but here it comes).  So I showed Luke that he is changing by showing him his facial hair. Of which he says, yup my real father had a lot of facial hair. WELL since Luke was abandoned at 8 months old there was NO way he would know that. Tom and I asked him how he knew that.. he said DUH I saw it.. We didn't quite know what to say at first. My gut reaction was "leave it alone and it will all go away.." Not a great first reaction. But Luke said, "yea my Father in China had a lot of facial hair". I asked what age did you see your father with facial hair, his answer was at 8 years old before they sent me to live with the ladies with the pink hats(the nannies at the orphanage). Well Tom and I were dumbfounded. Here Luke thought the foster family he lived with was his real family and that he was abandoned at 8 years old by them....... Oh my.

So I decided there and then to take the high road and tell Luke the truth. He has a year of language under his belt and has been here with us for a year. So Tom and I proceeded to tell him that he was found (notice I did not say abandoned) at 8 months old. He called me a liar and got very upset with me. He said, "fine then where are the pictures of me at the orphanage as a baby". To that he is right and it is mind blowing but there are none. I think he wasn't paper ready until about 6 or 7 years old to be adopted, at least that is my guess.  So I got out his paperwork and interpreted his medical file about when he was found at 8 months old and what he weighed and how he did. Then I interpreted his next evaluation at 10 months old and then again one at 7 (nothing between 10 months old and 7 years old). He seemed devastated but then wanted to know what else the paper said. He loved hearing about his development, about his learning to do different things, his height and weight and how many teeth he had. Over all Luke was crushed beyond crushed but handled it with such dignity and grace that I knew I had to suck it up and not cry all over him like I felt like doing.  It was NOT easy. Luke took a few moments to stare at his medicals and then pushed them all aside got up and said I am going to go play.. He walked away then came right back and said "Mom was Elias found when he was a baby too?" I said "Yes at 8 months old just like you" He said "oh Poor Elias that makes me so sad for him, I am going to have to show him a lot of love". Then he hugged me and said he loved me and went off and played. I am sure this conversation is far from over, that someday Luke will want to know more and wonder more, but for now he is happy that we chose to tell him the truth and he did thank me for not lying to him. He told me the ladies in pink told him that the people that dropped him off at 8 years old were his mom and dad. I told him they and YOU didn't know sign language and you had no language, so how could they possibly explain what a foster family was... he just nodded and said "true".

This boy has wisdom beyond his years. His heart has so much love in it that it is a wonder it doesn't burst sometimes. God has special plans for Luke, of this I am sure. Lord I Thank you for the privilege of being Luke's momma. for giving me the courage to tell him the truth in a time when I wanted to run and hide for the hills. For giving me the words to tell Luke in a way that would show love and care. For giving Luke the heart and mind and sign language to be able to understand. Lord protect my boy as the questions keep coming!


LUKE
You first came to us in an envelope
With letters, forms and such
Just two tiny little pictures
With nothing warm to touch.
You grew in our imagination
In our hearts and in our minds.
You brought us greater joy
Than we ever thought we'd find.
A phone call started labor pains
Which lasted 'til we met
Strangers brought together
A day we won't forget.

You bloomed as you were planned
In our hearts, our lives, our home.
Our child of chance, of plan, of will
You're now our very own


Author Unknown

5 comments:

Poet of Purpose said...

Please tell Luke that the funny clown never ever forgets to pray for him!

Aus said...

Wow - first of all - I'm extremely proud of you guys! It would have been easier to let him believe what he thought - but what harm would that have done to your relationship with Luke down the road! Thanks for "stepping up" on that one!

And please - thank the rest of the family for me - they had to forgo what they probably wanted to do for the sake of their brother. And while the probably "didn't mind" - it was still a sacrifice for them!

And finally - please tell Luke for me that I'm extremely proud of him. He accepted - or at least willingly considered - what he was being told with a grace and dignity beyond his years. I've often said that our adopted kids were "old souls" - wise beyond their time - he really measured up to that.

Finally - take a moment of parent pride for yourselves. You've really built something in terms of your relationship with Luke - he listened and believed - what trust you have built with him! Really nice work there mom and dad!

hugs - prayers - and wow!!

aus and co.

Linette said...

What a hard conversation to have. I am so glad Luke has a family who gave him language so that he could understand things about his world and about himself.

Chris said...

wow! My gut would have been that the paperwork was lying...but what do you do with the info from 8 months? Oh my!

IlliniAmy said...

Wow...what an emotionally powerful experience. I'm glad he was able to absorb it once the shell shock wore off.

It's sad that the orphanage had no pictures for you. Shaling wasn't paper ready until she was 8-years-old, but the day we visited the orphanage, there were baby pictures in her file. They didn't let me have any of them, but they let me take pictures of the pictures.

Our little boy!

Our little boy!
Opening up my care package from my family!

Curious what he is thinking!

Curious what he is thinking!
Checking out my Family for the 1st time ever! (this pic is of my new Brothers and Sister!)

His first reaction after seeing us

His first reaction after seeing us
This is my Forever Family!

Some goodies from the care package

Some goodies from the care package
Some of my new books

This picture makes me cry every time I see it!

This picture makes me cry every time I see it!
My 1st picture of my mommy and daddy! They say I love to look at my pictures again and again!

Studying our faces....

Studying our faces....
Checking out my new family again!

Look at that face!

Look at that face!
Checking out my new books

Aaron's Graduation

Aaron's Graduation
We are so Proud!

Xin Hai's name in Chinese!

福新

Fu XinHai

Xin Hai

Xin Hai
Isnt he the cutest ever?

Aaron's Senior Prom

Aaron's Senior Prom
My handsome Son, Aaron

Aarons prom

Aarons prom
Paige, Aaron and Tommy

My Family

My Family
The Worrell Family

Our Precious one

Our Precious one
Xin Hai in 2008 - so precious! Love that smile!

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